Will You Love Me When..........

First of all, a little eye candy for you. As most of you know I absolutely adore, love roses but if there is a little "chick" in the picture along with it, then it's even more special to me. So here is some ephemera for you. And please enlarge it for a bigger image.

~*~

I'm feeling soppy, syrupy and maudlin today so bare with me. I'm not even going to apologize for this because I just need to lay my heart and soul on the line today. You can indulge me or click off to another blog post; it really doesn't matter to me if you don't want to hear it again. I can definitely understand. I'm writing this on saturday night and scheduling it for monday just in case I decide I can't bear to see it in print.

I laid awake last night just thinking of my son and what he's still going through, but it wasn't just that.

Late at night when Morpheus won't visit, I'll lie awake silently and think my deepest, most intimate thoughts and let the tears flow onto the pillow and just hope my spouse doesn't awaken so I don't have to explain those deep intimate reveries and can just have the thoughts to myself privately and tiptoe through them quietly at my leisure when feelings are so tender. I think some people might understand this. But our son's condition started the whole thing.......plus the "journey" of the finding of the "perfect makeup."

He's still not doing well even with the sleeping pills. Plus there has been no change in his headaches—still horrendous pain, eyes, ears ringing and whoosing in his ears. I wish I could say it's improving but it isn't yet. I've wept more tears than I'd ever thought possible because when this happens to someone to whom you've given birth it hurts intolerably. I've been told these things take time but hubby and I are still going to do a fast for him tomorrow.
*

The other thing, which I'm guessing is common in marriages that have survived for many years, where lots of true love has endured and as we creep—because I shall always "creep" and not "leap"— into old age, are some thoughts that kept running through my consciousness last night. I believe that as we come to the twilight and midnight of our years on earth we all share similar feelings.

Will you still love me when my face wrinkles and crinkles around the eyes and mouth?

Will you still love me when I can barely get out of the chair or the car pretending like nothing hurts and fake it for the first few steps so people won't think I'm an old lady?

Will you still love me when everything that can sag does?

Will you still love me when I can't determine the true color of my skin because of all the age spots?

Will you still love me when my dentist owns most of my teeth?

Will you still love me when the optometrist can't determine how many pairs of glasses I'll need for my activities?

Will you still love me when I'm stooped over and need your strong arm to help me up?

Will you still love when when my hair looks frosted from so much gray in it?

Will you still love me when I don't have the energy to iron your pants and shirts because I can't stand that long?

Will you still love me when I'd rather eat out because it's so much easier for me than cooking even though you LOVE my cooking more than restaurants?

Will you still love me when my feet don't work as well as they used to and I hold your hand, not because that's how we've always done it, but because I can't make it without your beautiful hands helping me now?

Will you still love me when I have an extra 10 lbs. or then it creeps up each year to whatever it is and I hate to tell you the actual truth?!

Will you still love me when I'm not that young slender girl coming down the stairs in my white wedding gown that you've always told me is the image you'll always remember of me even after all these years of marriage?

Will you miss the times when we can finally share the intimate moments that were so tender when they actually happened that the memory had to dim a bit to be able to voice them to each other?

Will you still love me and remember the moments when you would hold me in your arms and tell me that "things will be alright" when we're going through a crisis and let me know how much you love me?

Will you still love me when I may not even remember who you are; although you constantly tell me you'll never forget me?

Will you still love me when I'm gone before you and awaiting your presence by my side and missing you so terribly?

I know I'll miss you with every beat of my heart because I can't even imagine not having you and your strong, loving arms around me.
~*~

Dear readers, you were warned. My heart is very tender lately.

Shopping in San Francisco

My favorite place in the whole world to shop: San Francisco Union Square! It just doesn't get much better than this for regular normal people. Hah. I borrowed these from Mo with her permission because when we moved here from the Bay Area digital cameras were not on the market then and I was one of the worst photographers ever. My skills have improved greatly since then! So thank you to Mo and a gift is making its way to her door as we speak!

This is standing on one corner looking at the Westin St. Francis Hotel. I love to dine here. They have a few dining rooms at which to eat and we've eaten at each one I think. But the one I love most is right inside the entrance. They have sofas at some of the tables in the middle of the room, not those banquettes along the walls. Very elegant. And the staff is exceptional.

We took a friend's teenager back with us one year for the holidays because she was struggling in the small Idaho town we were in at that time. She was mesmerized! She couldn't believe such a place existed. She then looked at me as we were reading the menu in the front of the restaurant and said, "Connie, you're going to have to translate the menu for me because I don't understand a word of it." I did because it was all in french.

Neiman-Marcus. Wheat else can I say. The last time I was in here several years ago I was in the linen department and looking at some pure linen sheets. One sheet - not a set, but just one sheet - was $400.00. I've never slept on pure Irish linen sheets and at that price I'm probably not going to if Love Bunny has his say about it. I'm sure the sheets must last a lifetime though as linen is a very sturdy fabric. (He isn't buying that one, chicks! Hah) One of the most elegant stores I've been in outside of Hollywood's Rodeo Drive.

My favorite store in the whole world - Macy*s! I've been in many of them but this one on Union Square has 4 floors I believe and a basement. Dining is a real treat as the food is superb. But if you can't find it here then it probably doesn't exist in the world. And when they have a sale, it's a sale! I once bought an $80 blouse (this was 25 years ago) for $10.00. This place wants to move their merchandise, ladies! Wonderful place to shop, just fantastic!!!!

The Westin St. Francis up close. I cannot tell you how gracious the staff is in this hote. They see to your every need with the utmost care.

Nordstroms. I love their shoes. They originally started out as a shoe store in Seattle and then expanded. The S.F. store was put in about mid 1980s I believe and when we went in there you gasped it was so lovely. Glass escalators - which actually was a bit frightening to me because of the heights. I cannot begin to describe the beauty of this store. It kind of feels like you're in a gold mine with all the gold and glitter. And the employees are very attentive to your every whim. You do NOT need to ask for help; they're right there helping you. Their staff is also as exceptional as the St. Francis.

A Sweet Story and Pretty Plates

I found these plates the other day and just hung them. I'll post pictures of where they are later, but aren't they cute?? I adore each one - roses and chocolate.....just doesn't get any better than that!!

~*~

I had a doctor's appointment the other day to chat with my doctor and get refills for my prescriptions and just general chit chat to see how I am doing. I love my doctor. She's not only a beauty but she listens to me! Anyway, I had the blood work done early and went back after running some errands before the appointment.

When I got there a lady and man were checking in with the receptionist. (I'm trying my best to get through this without tears running down my face......and not succeeding very well, chicks! I haven't even told hubby this story because I'll lose it the minute I start telling it to him.)

Anyway, they looked to be about our age or maybe even a tad younger and he was a very handsome man. He stood with the aid of 2 crutches, the kind you put your lower arm through. He was dressed nicely, tall and distinguished - almost regal-bearing - and didn't utter a word the whole time. I noticed he shook a bit. She was conducting the sign-in for him and she was holding a very thick foam square pillow of about 10 or 12 inches. I wondered about it but when they were through registering they went to sit down. I signed in with the receptionist and watched them. She gently placed the pillow on a chair and helped him sit down. This took longer than it would for most people to sit.

I didn't want to stare but they were sitting to my right across from me and I couldn't help but notice the way she took his hand and held it. It was all I could do to not break down right then and there. I don't think anything touched me any deeper than that moment. It was so touching to watch her take care of her sweetheart. She held his hand and each finger while she gently massaged each one lovingly. Even now - 12 hours later - I can feel that love that knows no end of two people who just try to make it through life helping each other.

Marriage for me is for eternity and I hope and pray I'll have the patience and love that woman had today. I can't even put to words how beautiful that was. I think I was put there at that time to witness it to make me see the gift my hubby is to me.

It also makes me wonder where commitment is today in marriages. I see people get married and divorced so rapidly it's almost like "drive-thru" marriages and divorces. Hubs and I have stuck out many rough times but today marriages are just something they want to do until something "better" comes along or the "going gets rough." Then it's thrown out the back door. I feel truly sad for those people.

I knew a woman a few years back who had MS and her hubby left her when she got it. Just couldn't take it after being married for many years and having children. Just boggles my mind to see sacred covenants trashed so easily. I think he'll have to answer for his action some day.

But for me it transcends death even. I'll be with my sweetheart forever and while here on this earth I hope I have the courage and love that lady showed to me today by her actions toward her sweet husband. I weep for her but I doubt she feels it's any sacrifice at all. I pray I feel like that if I'm put in that position at some point in time. Hubby has told me he'll take care of me no matter what.

There may come a time when one of us is incapacitated and won't even know the other is there taking care of the other one, but the one doing the "care taking" will know and that's all that matters.