First of all, thank you all for your kind wishes for a speedy recovery and for ANY recovery at all. It is much appreciated—AND needed—along with prayers.
I'd like to catch all of you up on just what's been going on with me. It's been a rough 3 months but I'm finally feeling some relief. Two weeks ago in church I walked in and sat down in our usual spot—5th pew back from the front. My visiting teacher was behind me and leaned forward and asked me how I was doing. That did it! I started bawling and couldn't stop. I was totally embarrassed and realized later I should have just gotten up and gone home at that point. It just all came crashing down at that point. I was feeling lonely, depressed, unloved and much more, plus my makeup and mascara were totally gone. I can't even imagine what the men sitting up on the podium must have been thinking, but then men don't express their feelings as women do, so they probably had no idea how in bad a shape I was in.
I take a very mild dose of an anti-depressant, actually 1/2 a pill, and have for about 10 years. It was at that point I realized I needed to up it to the full pill and yes, that has helped. I'm a very, very active participant in my health care along with my incredible doctor. She listens to me and I listen to her. She agrees with me because she knows me to be a very strong, intelligent and capable women. I love her for that.
Now, besides the pulled hamstring and groin and probably from stress, I got a sore on the left side of my mouth. It hurt so badly I couldn't open my mouth or talk very well. The doctor and I tried 3 different things on it but nothing would help. Finally she suggested—as a last resort before sending me to a dermatologist—a hydrocortizone cream and that has worked. See below what I've been dealing with and I'm NUTS for putting up such a closeup of this old face. It looks much worse in this closeup. But let me tell you it HURT! The cream has cured that and I'm back to my lovely self. ;-)
Am I now sounding pathetic and depressed for myself? Yes, I am, but I deserve to feel that for what I've been through. I'm fine now or will be soon. Do not feel sorry for me; I do a great job of it all by myself and don't need any help, thank you!
Now for the 2nd part. I've been comfort fooding! You're probably wondering how I could do that with my mouth hurting so much and barely able to open my mouth. I adjusted; food never stops us, right?! Yep, isn't that what happens when we all have stress? So, I'm doing something about it. Hubs and I visited our local sports store and bought this equipment for me to start using for ALL my muscles. It looks simple, easy, inexpensive and doable. I got a 3 pound weight, a set of ankle weights for the legs and these cables. Easy to do. Hardly any room needed to do the exercises so I'm starting that to get these old muscles in shape. (Uuuuh, I may still have a melt down or two, depending on how hard it is to get hubby to take me out more often for eating.)
I'd like to catch all of you up on just what's been going on with me. It's been a rough 3 months but I'm finally feeling some relief. Two weeks ago in church I walked in and sat down in our usual spot—5th pew back from the front. My visiting teacher was behind me and leaned forward and asked me how I was doing. That did it! I started bawling and couldn't stop. I was totally embarrassed and realized later I should have just gotten up and gone home at that point. It just all came crashing down at that point. I was feeling lonely, depressed, unloved and much more, plus my makeup and mascara were totally gone. I can't even imagine what the men sitting up on the podium must have been thinking, but then men don't express their feelings as women do, so they probably had no idea how in bad a shape I was in.
I take a very mild dose of an anti-depressant, actually 1/2 a pill, and have for about 10 years. It was at that point I realized I needed to up it to the full pill and yes, that has helped. I'm a very, very active participant in my health care along with my incredible doctor. She listens to me and I listen to her. She agrees with me because she knows me to be a very strong, intelligent and capable women. I love her for that.
Now, besides the pulled hamstring and groin and probably from stress, I got a sore on the left side of my mouth. It hurt so badly I couldn't open my mouth or talk very well. The doctor and I tried 3 different things on it but nothing would help. Finally she suggested—as a last resort before sending me to a dermatologist—a hydrocortizone cream and that has worked. See below what I've been dealing with and I'm NUTS for putting up such a closeup of this old face. It looks much worse in this closeup. But let me tell you it HURT! The cream has cured that and I'm back to my lovely self. ;-)
Am I now sounding pathetic and depressed for myself? Yes, I am, but I deserve to feel that for what I've been through. I'm fine now or will be soon. Do not feel sorry for me; I do a great job of it all by myself and don't need any help, thank you!
Now for the 2nd part. I've been comfort fooding! You're probably wondering how I could do that with my mouth hurting so much and barely able to open my mouth. I adjusted; food never stops us, right?! Yep, isn't that what happens when we all have stress? So, I'm doing something about it. Hubs and I visited our local sports store and bought this equipment for me to start using for ALL my muscles. It looks simple, easy, inexpensive and doable. I got a 3 pound weight, a set of ankle weights for the legs and these cables. Easy to do. Hardly any room needed to do the exercises so I'm starting that to get these old muscles in shape. (Uuuuh, I may still have a melt down or two, depending on how hard it is to get hubby to take me out more often for eating.)
And that's the end of the whine...for today anyway.
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It's snowed the last couple of days and I've pretty much stayed in the house. I don't do well driving in snow since I've pretty much lived in warm climes before moving to Idaho. I absolutely love cold weather though, snuggling down with a cup of hot chocolate and some warm pumpkin bread. I made some last night, which brings me to a musing: Why do some people answer a question with a question or a "yes or no" question with no direct yes or no? Last night I asked hubby if he wanted me to slice him a piece of pumpkin bread for his lunch tomorrow. He said, "That would be nice." He always does this. Rarely ever a YES or NO. After 49 1/2 years of marriage I still don't understand it. Could it be his Marine training?
While out snapping the photos for this post I noticed the tinkle of water in the spout. I guess the bit of snow on our roof is melting fast. Loved catching the drips in progress.
Also while out there I listened to the tinkling of the wind chime and when I looked down I noticed one of its pipes laying in the grass at the edge of the patio. I'm going to have to re-thread the wind chime I think. Also I noticed the little flower trying to survive among the sheltering dead grass. How we all cling to life when it's our time to go!
And finally some eye candy of beautiful cups I have. We don't have many because we don't drink coffee or tea, usually just hot chocolate or an herb tea. But I love having them around just for their beauty.
While swiffering the kitchen today, I stepped on a tiny pebble or something. Why is it when you do that and try to find it you can't find it again to pick it up? Nope, I never did find it, just swiffered over the small area again hoping it caught in the swiffer pad.
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To understand the grandeur of simple things, one must humble oneself.
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You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Okay, I know I can fly on an airplane, but I choose to NOT fly on airplanes anymore. I flew for my company when I worked but when retiring I swore I would never fly again. So far, I've kept that commitment.
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I read this some weeks ago on the internet and was simply astounded of the arrogance and ignorance of this man. He is a brilliant theoretical physicist, which just goes to show you that even the smartest people are brain-dead. If you are religious at all, you have to believe God gave us this wonderful world. I never question my God.
Stephen Hawking declares God did not make universe. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/7976594/Stephen-Hawking-God-was-not-needed-to-create-the-Universe.html
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While visiting with my doctor the other day, she mentioned she was having a jewelry party. I almost thought she was going to invite me. Mixed emotions: thinking someone you like will invite you to the jewelry/tupperware/candle party! I hastily changed the subject and departed.
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I also read a piece about Drew Barrymore cooing and gushing over visiting a third world country and going poo in the words. In her words, she thought it was just the best thing that could have ever happened, so freeing, so environmental. Miss Barrymore, what in the world is freeing and environmental about your poo sitting out there for someone to step in?! Hmmmm??? Give me a toilet! Please!! It seems to me she's standing on the corner of Ignorance and Bliss with no clue.
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More in a few days. If I sit too long, I'll have to do more exercise. Heaven forbid!!
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