My life is to make everything around me beautiful.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Few Thoughts on Women

A few weeks ago, we had a lesson in our Relief Society, which is the 3rd hour of our Sunday meetings. I call it The Women's Hour as it's for women.

This particular day the lesson was given by a young mother, probably in her very early thirties. She did a fantastic job, absolutely fantastic. She shook the whole time and would never think it was a good lesson. In other words, she beats herself up. About 20 minutes into the lesson, I leaned over to my friend, Patrice, and said, "I live a charmed life." She nodded agreement. I feel so blessed and grateful for what I do have in this life. I don't grieve at all for what I don't have.

It was about how women beat up on themselves, especially the mothers and, in particular, the mothers who stay home to rear their children. I knew it struck tender feelings because of the tears and tissues and there were probably some abused women in the room also. I grieved for those women because I can't ever remember feeling that way—unappreciated. But then I worked.

I went to work when my kids were 5 and 6 years old. Remember, my hubby was a Marine and we didn't make a lot of money; although, I must say we could have gotten by. We just wanted more things like a stereo, which is the first thing I bought with my first paycheck. (And I had every record Dionne Warwick and Gary Puckett and the Union Gap recorded and listened to them over and over and over!) I can't remember the cost, but I remember $55, which was either the cost of the stereo or my very first paycheck. But the figure $55 sticks in my mind. Probably my first paycheck because I only made $1.75 an hour working at the base PX. We were thrilled to get that, trust me. (But going from that $1.75 an hour to being the highest paid woman in a very large top Fortune 500 company was monumental to me. I worked hard to get there.) I can't say it was worth the sacrifice to my children though. I really can't.

Anyway, back to the story.

I went to college when my children were in school and didn't work for several years. I stayed home for a while with them. When hubby retired from the Marines, we did a whole lot better in life.

I belonged to 4 or 5 women's groups during the 1980s and loved the groups. I learned a lot about myself. However, I can never, ever remember putting down women who stayed home with their children. We were all professionals in the groups: a pediatrician, a nurse, an engineer, several of us businesswomen, etc. But not once did we denigrate women for staying home. I don't do it to this day. Why?

Well, I was reared (as I now realize) by parents and grandparents who always made me feel special. I just knew I was special! I also have a very loving hubby who never made decisions for me; they were mine alone to make. He stood behind me and encouraged whatever I did. Did I make mistakes? You betcha! But I learned much from those mistakes. I grew from those mistakes.

Rearing children is hard enough without women denigrating stay-at-home-moms. It's especially tough raising good kids today with the worldly influences and temptations that are thrown at them from all sides. They don't need to hear other women putting them down for the most important job they'll ever have. I know this because I didn't stay home with my kids when they needed me. Would I change all that now? I truly don't know. I can't answer "what if" questions. I just don't know.

I believe as women we need to help each other, not spew vitriol at SAHMs. They do a thankless job, believe me. The ones I know beat up on themselves far more than any woman could, but the ones I know also know they're doing it for the good of mankind. And that's what makes them so special in my book. We all need to pump up each other, be kind to someone who is struggling, whether it's the mom who stays home or the mom who is working. They all need positive feelings from us.

A favorite living room I saw. Yes, you can decorate with pretty dresses if you'd like.

Stunning color on this house. I'm pretty sure it's in some tropical place.

What a joy this pleasant entry is to someone who comes knocking on your door.

We all love to view beautiful windows and old buildings that have a lot of character to them.

A tea party or lunch in the woods or an orchard.

Froufrou will always catch my eye!

A beautiful antique French chair with pink cushions on it. Yummmm!

Balloons, a banner and cupcakes displayed on a beautiful plate or platter will assure a pleasant event for anyone.

Another interesting entrance to an older home.

Beautiful patios such as this one draw lots of attention.

Beautiful setting...and it just this moment gave me a great idea. I have two urns on my front porch. I think I'll cover them with glass and use them as tables for out there instead of the faux geraniums in them now. Why haven't I thought of that earlier?!

A cute red plate rack.

A delightful bedroom for little boys or girls who like exploring places. How many munchkins get to climb up into their beds? ;-) This one looks like a little girls room.

And this one looks like a BIG girl's bedroom! Yep, my kind of glamour.

This is an example of how to picnic in style!

A flower shop. From the language on the sign it looks like a far eastern country, which just goes to show you that no matter where we live we all love to have beauty in our lives.

Just beautiful eye candy for you.

One of the most darling footstools I've ever seen.

An example of what you can do with scraps of fabric or netting. Make a beautiful lamp. You'll see some examples of lamps I've decorated on my sidebar if you look. I love to froufrou up lamps. I don't want my house to look like everyone else's house and it sure doesn't!
Photos courtesy of pinterest and tumblr.


  1. "LOVED your post"!!! I was a stay at home Mom and when anyone "DARE" ask if I worked "I gave them THE LOOK"! I raised 3 boys and I can say they raised me too BECAUSE they taught me about Creepy Crawly things. It was GODS plan that THEY cure me of my phobias for BUGS so I could be the Master Gardener I am today! OKAY working at home raising my boys I also spent LOTS and LOTS of time sewing for the Christmas bazaars. I would make enough goodies to sell at the holidays throughout the year. I loved it and my boys helped in ways that kept them busy yet had fun. We also raised chicken,hehe. That was a story of it's own, BUT FUN to look back at...
    I LOVE your pictures as always. My Favorite it that kids bedroom that looks like a treehouse bed. LOVE IT!!!
    Oh my first job had a salary of $1.75hr...BUT Hubby and I could go out for a STEAK DINNER for under $5...
    Thank you for your ALWAYS GREAT Post...
    Have a wonderful week,
    Big Hugs,

  2. My Mom went to work when I was around 7 or 8 years old (I was the youngeest of three kids) back in the middle 1950s. There were times I wished she was a stay at home Mom but we all knew the extra money helped. There were no considerations from employers in the 50s for women with children. You do want you have to do to get by. My first job paid $1.25 an hour!!! We didn't have children so I worked our whole married life and now I'm enjoying retirement. Love your stories Connie!

  3. Stay at home moms are more important to our society today than ever before- they help prevent the breakdown of the family. I support them 110 percent!

    I have always been a working mom but I modeled myself after my mom who always worked to supplement the family income but found jobs that would allow her to work around her family obligations- not easy but so worth it!

  4. This is a great post. I ended up being a SAHM because of my disabled son. It has only benefited my other kids, and their friends who have a place to come after school if they need one. It is not fun being broke but I love my life otherwise.:)

    Your pinned images are beautiful!

  5. Amen to the SAHMs!! This post should be required reading for ALL women!!

    That gorgeous cottage with the front door ajar is actually Cindy Ellis' cottage studio. Her husband built it for her. Can you imagine what her house must look like!!!!

    Love you,

  6. Hats off to SAHMs!! Wonderful post can go through it number of times loved every bit of it.
    All the images are treat to eyes.

  7. Great post! Your kindness really shows through. And goodness, what a great collection of beautiful photos! Love it!

  8. I love the pictures Connie!

    My mom went back to work outside the home when I was 8. She didn't want to but since my dad left, she had no choice. I do know that my mom wanted to be home in time for us to get home from school, but we always got home before her. I don't understand how women can put down another woman for anything. We should be sticking together, although I have not heard any of my friends ever put down someone for staying home with kids.


  9. I really enjoyed reading your post...Connie


Comments are so nice and I thank all of you that leave one for me.