My life is to make everything around me beautiful.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Real Models and Catalogs

*Remember to go to yesterday's post for a giveaway of some food storage shelves! Drawing is this afternoon.

My daughter and I buy a lot of our clothes and shoes from catalogs, thus we are put on a lot of mailing lists for clothes and shoes—not to mention household things also such as rugs, furniture, etc. AND even soy stuff, which I have no interest in whatsoever, having been a devoted Big Mac lover my whole life. (How in the world would we get put on healthy eating catalog lists from clothing catalogs?!?!) But I was thinking about that the other day as I was perusing a couple of new clothing catalogs I received in the mail that day and thought I'd share a few comments with you.

Now, this "happy camper" t-shirt is obviously worn by a model who has never had her hubby drag her off to the wilds of Idaho by a raging river with skunks, bears, teenagers with 4 wheelers and boom boxes, getting there entails driving by sheer rock cliffs that have warning signs stating "Danger, falling rocks" and there are some in the midde of the road we have to dodge to get to said "camp", hunters who "park" their horse and all that entails (p**p), parents who think their babies crying in the night doesn't bother us ol' folks at sireeeeeee!! Parents: yesssssss, it does bother us and we're pretty forgiving the after listening, smelling and trying to ignore all that noise. BUT "happy camper"???? Nuuuuu, not this chick. I go with Love Bunny to preserve this marriage.

Ultrafirm comfort? There ain't enough "firm" in this world to make a bra comfortable, let me tell ya. And eliminate bulges for a sleek look? There also ain't enough "sleek" to make this body not bulge.

Cools my hot flashes??? Puhleeeeeze. I'd have to stick ice blocks in there to keep this chick cool. Removable padded inserts??? Does a 56DD really need "inserts"? I don't THINK so! Moisture wicking for those workouts??? What workouts? Do you seriously think with 56DD someone would "work out"?! Those puppies would be slapping someone in the face constantly. Hardware free???? Gee, that's comforting to know that they haven't put a wrench or screwdriver in there. Yessireeee!

Now this little wrist purselet is something I could go for—especially in this sassy pink color. But how in the world would I get my lipstick, brush, 3 pairs of glasses, debit card, money, weight watcher weekly tracker, cell phone, Cold Stone Creamery and Subway punch cards, Costco membership card, aspirin tin, keys, camera and butterscotch candies in there??? I ask you!

My kind of camp! Indoors. Okay, okay, so I don't drink anymore. I can make exceptions if it's for medicinal purposes, right?! Don't tell my bishop about this and we'll be "best buds forever", sugar. Make it strawberry, please.......the medicine, I mean. *Wink*

Most magazines and catalogs have those models with long sleek legs (meaning emaciated) to model. This one turned out the local "talent" OR their employees for the photoshoot. I think I see a leg or two that could use some Nair or a razor also, which is the "normal" state of my legs. Sometimes it's so bad I have to clip before I can even shave! Now, while it is kinda nice to see "shapely" legs—it does give me hope here, it is also nice to see "normal" feet, which by that I mean "abnormal." The skinny models do NOT have normal feet to which I am an authority because I can "Photoshop" with the best of them, chicks, and trust me, they usually are, but these photos are NOT. They're "normal" feet, in other words, ugly just like the rest of us. The tattoo adds a touch, but I'll leave it at that.

So when did we get hangers with b**bs?! I swear I've never seen them before. For pete's sake, they'll sexualize anything anymore, won't they? *Sigh*..........

Some of the clothing in catalogs now says "organic", but what does that really mean? I believe it is something relating to or derived from living matter. So if a T-shirt or skirt or pants are cotton or linen or silk, isn't that organic? Works for me! So why do they have to say "organic T-shirts", hmmmmmm?

I think I'll go take a long soak to get "mental" again. Sheeeeeesh.........

Remember to go to yesterday's post for a giveaway of some food storage shelves!


  1. Haha you're so funny. I agree with like everything you've said LOL. Especially about the bras. :)

    All the best,

  2. Honestly have a wicked sense of humor and I just love it..but make mine a regular margarita please with quervo gold tequilla...those are my favorite if I drank..I have tried them and they are my favorite drink...just wish they had great tasting non-alcohol drinks..cause I would be slamming em down if they did...anyway..yeah the bra story is are funny..thats why I love ya,,

  3. Connie, you are so funny and I love to come and see what you are up to. I too have to force down occasional "medicine" myself, usually when I leave the country...smiles.

    The Raggedy Girl

  4. OMG...I am rolling, laughing at your post! How true is all of that? I look at the clothing catalogs that come in and say,"yeah, right" if I could even remotely look like that in one of those garbs or the shoes!

    I'll take that margarita now and just sit back!

  5. OmGosh but you had me laughing today and believe me, I needed it. I took a tumble yesterday and I'm so sore...laughing may make me ache but it's good for the healing too :0)
    That bra is just to funny!

  6. LOLLOL I'm with you on the bra thingy. There isn't a bra in the whole wide world that is comfortable...and who in the world needs padded bras these days? The weight alone of 56DD's is enough to bring you to your knees...I know, because they are. I have hot flashes that are so hot that you feel like you are going to blow your stack just like a boiler does. HAHA


  7. LOL that was way too funny....and you're so right about the bras and the boob hangers. I also loved what you did with the ribbon on your looks like something you'd find in a pricey boutique!

  8. Hi, I just found your blog today. This post really made me and my 16yo daughter laugh, because we love catalogs too and are ALWAYS commenting on the itmes and the models and anything else. Thanks for the laugh!

  9. You are so funny Connie. The whole thing is funny, but I must comment on the feet. That's one thing I can say, that maybe, just maybe I do have that's photo-worthy for a catalog; my feet. You see my heart was broken at age 15 when I wrote to a modeling agency asking them to take me even though I was only
    5'2". I sent pictures of myself. They didn't want any short models. I was crushed. My feet are kinda cute, so that photo you posted made my day. Kathi

  10. Hey Ethel! This is one of your funniest posts ever! I'm never brave enough to say exactly what my little random mind is thinking, so thanks for doing it for all of us. That hardware-free, moisture-wicking bra might just be what this hot menopausal chick needs!

    Love you,
    Angelic Accents


Comments are so nice and I thank all of you that leave one for me.