My life is to make everything around me beautiful.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Heart is Heavy Today

I am sorry to post this for Pink Saturday but things happened quickly here in the last 2 days. But read it and enjoy the rose garden.

My heart is extremely heavy today. Thursday my daughter called me frantically so let me tell you the story. It's quite long.











Her hubby, Bill, is a dialysis patient. He lost the use of his kidneys about 14 years ago now. His father donated a kidney and it worked for 3 days and then it shut down. So he then went on dialysis 3 days a week—monday, wednesday and friday for 4 hours each evening. He was a brave young man and didn't let it keep him from doing anything. He was very valiant, never ever complained and tried to never let anyone know his circumstances.

He had a hip replacement a few years ago because at the beginning the steroids ate his bone joints. March 9th of this year he had his right shoulder replaced and was looking at 2 more surgeries this year—a fistula on his left arm, which provided access to his veins for the dialysis and then after that healed they were going to replace his left shoulder.

The fistula grew so big on his arm it looked like the hulk only worse. It stretched the skin to its limit. The picture will give you some idea but his was on the upper part of his arm and was so big it hung down to his elbow. It looked like a snake wrapped around his upper arm twice. My daughter had to buy XXL white long sleeve shirts for him to wear to work just for that arm.

On wednesday when he went to dialysis his arm was black from the sores it had from rubbing against his chest. They think it was blisters from the rubbing and had gotten infected. They gave him antibiotics intravenously. They called his doctor and he was to go in thursday to see his doctor to get a schedule for the operation on friday to be performed by a team of doctors. He had a 4:00 appointment. This was a huge undertaking as they were going to replace it with a pig or cow vein. They were in fear of it splitting open.

He worked at home on thursday and at about 2:30 he went out to water his favorite roses in the back yard. My daughter was napping on the sofa in the family room. His arm exploded open, he ran in and asked her to help him. She tried to get the tourniquet on him but he was bleeding out fast and the blood made it so slippery she couldn't get it tied off. (He had been warned that if it broke he had MAX of 2 minutes to tie it off or he'd bleed out.) She ran out of the bathroom to the office phone and called 911. Then she heard a thud in the bathroom and knew he had fainted. She stood there watching her hubby die. I can't even imagine seeing that happen. Blood was all over the home as the heart was pumping the blood furiously out. He bleed out before the EMTs got here. Nan heard him take his last breath when the EMTs walked through the door. Blood was just pooling rapidly under his body. They couldn't get a heartbeat but rushed him to the hospital. A vast team of doctors worked on him for about an hour and then came out to tell her they couldn't get a heartbeat but would keep working on him if she wanted but that he would almost assuredly be a vegetable. She said no, stop working on him. They did. She and my grandson just broke down and they had to put them both on gurneys, administer her some valium and give him some albuterol as he had an asthma attack.

If Bill could have held out for one more day he would have had the operation to repair that valve. Bill's doctor called Nan friday morning and just cried and apologized for not getting it done sooner. He was devastated as he'd taken care of Bill for many years. It has been devastating to this family, especially with the other tragedy of our son being attacked recently. We're a strong religious family and know we will see Bill again. My heart is broken and I can't tell you how many tears we've all shed. Hubby and I are here now in California with our daughter. I truly cannot imagine how his mother is feeling as I almost knew what it was like, but my son was saved. My heart grieves for my daughter being a widow at 47. Bill was 46. But his mother loves him with a mother's love and that is also very strong.

The above photos are of Bill's garden that he was tending the day he died. He loved that garden. The first seven photos are of his favorite rose outside their kitchen. He just loved the fragrance of that particular rose. He will be greatly missed. The rose bush looks like it is weeping for him. I know we all are.

Bill
Nov. 1962 - May 2009
~*~

Okay, for an update on Keith.

He was called by the juvenile D.A. (never knew there was such a thing) on thursday. He was told they have 4 guys in custody now. One is a juvenile and the D.A. asked if he wanted to be in the court for the arraignment on friday. He said YOU BETCHA! They wouldn't let my daughter-in-law or my grandson, who is 20, in the court room. Since it is juvenile court there were privacy issues. Keith was assigned a police guard and was taken into a small room to wait. Then he was taken into the court room and put on one side in the back of the room. The guard stayed with in the whole time. The parents of the defendant were then shown in and put on the other side of the room. The 15 year old defendant was then brought into the room. He pled not guilty, of course. The police "found" him in the jail. He has been in jail for the last 30 days in solitary confinement lockdown level 10. He sits in that cell for 23 hours a day and is let out into a private yard for 1 hour each day. That's for the worst bad guys. He asked the judge if he could have a chat with his parents, who Keith said looked like the average hard-working parents. He felt so sad for them. He then asked the judge to lessen his confinement level down from 10. The judge looked at him and said "I see no reason to change that" [score!!] and will leave it as stands. He said he'd leave it up to the probation department to do something if they wanted to. The young man is one bad dude and was in a gang. Then it was over for that day. I cannot be happy for a 15 year old boy who will probably spend the better part of his life in a prison. I'd hope he would straighten out his life. It doesn't look good for his child. He's looking at a long time in prison. Sad............

73 comments:

  1. Oh, this made me cry. Bill's garden was beautiful. I can't even imagine watching my husband die like that. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

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  2. Connie,
    Words fail miserably to offer comfort and compassion but please know I am lifting you and your daughter and your precious son-in-laws parents up in prayer.
    He grew such fabulous roses, what a lovely remembrance to leave to those you love.
    How sad that boy who beat up your son is so careless about others and his own life. I suppose he does need to be confined to prevent another tragedy like your son experienced. What a waste.
    Hugs,
    Melissa

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  3. Dear Connie,

    I am sad and sorry to hear the bad news and my heart and prayers goes to you, your daughter and family.. :-( may he rest in peace.

    and am glad that the police finally caught all the guys who hit your son. May they all be punished accordingly.

    take care
    xoxo
    fitty

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  4. My heart and prayers go out to you, your daughter and family.

    Hugs
    Melly:)

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  5. My heart is heavy for all of you. How sad. Only one more day and things might have been so different; I am so sorry.

    Blessings,
    Elizabeth

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  6. I am so sorry....My heart breaks for you and your daughter...This has just been a super sad week....read story on my blog.....

    I will be praying for you....

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  7. Dear Connie, prayers to you and your whole family. What a tragedy.

    Love and hugs from Marian

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  8. Oh Connie my heart breaks for your sweet daughter and grandson.
    Give her my love and my thoughts are with you all
    Alison

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  9. Connie, I am so sorry to hear about your son-in-law. I can't imagine what it must have been like for your daughter in those last moments of her husband's life. My heart goes out to her and their son. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
    I believe that you will all be together again one day...and it will be a joyous reunion.
    Blessings,
    Debi

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  10. Oh Connie, I am so sorry for your family's loss. I was brought to tears through the telling of your story and I don't even know your family. But my heart aches for you all. Your son-in-law sounded like a wonderful man. God bless your Daughter, Grandson, and whole family. Please pass on my condolences and I will say a prayer for your family.

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  11. Oh Connie...this is such sad news, indeed. Our hearts and prayers go out to all of you!

    We're adding your daughter and grand-son (all of you) to our Prayer List as you deal with this tragedy and loss.

    ~Blessings & Hugs,
    Jan

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  12. Connie, I am so sorry for your loss and my heart hurts for your family. It seems some of the worst things happen to the best people. I do not understand but I have an unshakeable faith that our Father knows best. I know your faith is strong. When my heart is hurting and I don't understand I gain comfort from reading (or singing to myself) that wonderful hymn, How Firm A Foundation and Bow The Knee. Your daughter and grandson will be in my prayers as will you and your hubby and all of your family. I pray all of you will feel God's comfort surrounding you in the days ahead. God Bless!! Mary

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  13. Oh Connie, I am so very sad to read this. What a terrible shock for you all.
    I will be praying for you now and in the days to come.

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  14. I am sorry your heart is heavy...
    Happy Pink Saturday ~ I hope you have a great weekend ~ Susan

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  15. Hi My dear pink friends! I am so so so so sorry for Bill! blessing for him.

    hugs

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  16. Connie,

    I am so terribly sorry about your son-in-law. What an awful heartache for your daughter. My heart and prayers go out to all of you. I hope that God has a garden heaven for him to care for, and that you all are comforted in your time of grief.

    Blessings, Karen

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  17. Oh Connie, this year has been such a terrible one for you. I am so sorry for Nan and for your family. There are no words to describe the loss and the pain for the loss. I will pray for your daughter that her pain and that of your grandson be lessened day by day and that they will find joy in the memories that they carry in their hearts.
    I am happy to hear that your son is recovering and seems to be doing much better. I hope and pray that life brings joy and laughter to all of you very soon. I appreciate the story of knowing what your family is going thru, please keep us updated on your daughters family, happy pink saturday and God Bless All of you, Char

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  18. Oh Connie. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Jen

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  19. Oh Connie.. My heart is just breaking for you and your family. I am so sorry to hear about the sudden death of your son-in-law. What a difficult and sad time this is for you. I will be keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  20. Connie,
    I am so sorry for your daughter's loss and can't begin to imagine what she went through in those last moments.So very sad for all of you...
    Your roses are gorgeous!
    Hope you all can keep the faith and give each other comfort at this sad time.
    xoxo

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  21. Oh Connie...my heart is just broken for your daughter and grandson....I am glad you are there with them. We will never understand why things happen the way they do..but all we can do is remember that He has a plan for all of us. I can imagine the most beautiful garden Bill will be tending to in Heaven...it is just gorgeous.....I am so sorry for this tremendous loss. God Bless your family during the time.

    Hugs ~ Angie

    p.s. we will be releasing balloons this weekend for some family members that we also lost around this time...if you don't mind, I will release an extra one in memory of Bill. I will make it a pink one just like his roses.

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  22. Oh dear sweet Connie - what to say I have been worrying about you since your last comment to me I knew somethng bad had happened - but this -I just feel so much for you my sweet & your daughter & grandson. All I can say is I will pray for your family & for Bill's, if I could take your pain away I would.

    Blessings my Sweet

    Lyn xxx

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  23. Sorry I forgot to say Bill will live on with in that beautiful garden of his, within his roses.

    Lyn xxx

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  24. Very sad and very tragic. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Through grace and peace may you all find some solace.

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  25. Connie...sweetie...my HEART just hurts for you and Nan! I love you both so much! Know my prayers are a constant and will cover you!

    Love..Lorena

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  26. OH Connie,
    I am praying so much for your family.
    It sounds like this has been a season of trials. God Bless all of you. I pray for strength for everyone. We love you.

    hugs,
    Barb

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  27. Hi Connie,
    Words fail me. I am so sorry for your loss and that of your daughter! Bill's roses were just beautiful.... You're in my prayers.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  28. Dear Connie,
    I'm so sorry that such wonderful man like Bill had to suffer and that your daughter has lost him so soon. Please know that your family is in my prayers.
    Hugs, Susan

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  29. Sweet Connie,

    I am so sorry for this to have happened to your daughter and your family. I pray that she doesn't think that it was her fault in any way as I know she did everything that she could do to help him. This is such a tragic story.... Jesus help this family...
    I will be praying for you and your family.

    Hugs,
    Angela

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  30. Dearest Connie, The other day my two little grand-nephews came to visit. One is 3 years and the other 18 months old. At one point during their visit I asked the youngest, Ashton, if he wanted a glad of milk... he smiled, but didn't say a word (18 month old)... to which the oldest, Aiden answered, "Aunt Dittie, he has no words." The simple innocent words of a child is how I feel right now for you. I have no words, but my heart and prayers with you... have been since you wrote about your son's attack. I know one thing... when I feel hammered by life, I will remember your son-in-law, daughter and son... and I will remind myself that I have no right to pity myself. God Bless you all. You are and will remain in my prayers.

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  31. Oh Connie, I am so sorry for your family's loss. You are all in my thoughs and prayers as you go through this difficult time.

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  32. Oh my... I am so very sorry to hear about your son-in-law. His garden is beautiful, and I'm sure his spirit will always be there. My heart goes out to your daughter and the entire family. Take care of each other in this difficult time.

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  33. My heart goes out to your family on the loss of someone so loved.. And to have your son attacked is worse than terrible. There are good kids and some kids that are lost..and should be locked away before they kill someone.
    My thought and prayers are with you..

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  34. There are no words that I can give to you that would adequately express my sorrow for you and for all who loved this man. Prayers to all of you.

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  35. Connie,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your son in law. You & your daughter & grandson will be in my thoughts & prayers.
    What a beautiful rose garden & no wonder he loved it so. May it be a comfort in the days ahead to your daughter & grandson as they care for it.
    I can't think of anything more sad than the heartbreak your daughter went through trying to save her husband's life.
    I am glad your son's attacker is going to pay for his mistakes but it is sad for a young man to throw his life away like that & for what?

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  36. I feel sick to my stomache after reading this. I can only imagine the emotions flowing through the members of your family. I don't even know what to say. My heart goes out to your daughter. What she must have been feeling! Your son- in- law! Oh Connie, I am so her saddened by all of this. Your family has been thru so much lately. May God bless each of you and give you all the strength to endure.

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  37. Connie my Dear friend...I am so sorry to hear this...prayers coming your way for all of your family...this just breaks my heart...Let me know if I can help...hugs and Love...Gl♥ria

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  38. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. Bill's roses are so beautiful and everytime your daughter and grandson look at them, may they both be comforted by their beauty and know that bill is watching over them......hugs and love are being sent your way, Jennifer

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  39. Oh sweet Connie.....I am SOOOO sorry. How terrible for all of your family. I have the most difficult time sharing what's in my heart, but please know I'm praying for you, your daughter, grandson and your SIL's parents. I'm just so sorry.

    Big comforting hugs,
    Spencer

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  40. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Words seem inadequate. Sending my sympathy to you and your daughter.

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  41. Connie, I am so sorry..I amcrying too hard to write so pls know i am praying for all of uou.

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  42. Oh Connie, My heart and prayers go out to you all. I cannot imagine how horrified your daughter felt while all of this was transpiring! I just hope that she is holding up well now. Bill tended to the most beautiful garden. ~ Robyn

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  43. I was so, so sorry to read this. I cannot imagine anything more horribly devasting to happen to a family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours at this sad time. Those roses were beautiful and I hope will be of some comfort to everyone who sees them and remembers the man who made that garden such a wonderful place to be.

    Re your son - I'm so glad they caught the guys who did it .

    God bless.

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  44. I am so sorry for your daughter's loss and your loss.

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  45. OH Connie; I am so very sorry for the loss of your son in law. My Prayers are with you all during this time of grief. His Rose's are just beautiful. What a lovely memory for you daughter to have every time she looks upon them and see him in every Rose.... Thank you for your loving words to me during my difficult time which by no means comes close to your family. God Bless you all..

    Hugs;
    Alaura

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  46. Hello Connie, Again I'm so sorry for the loss of your Son In Law. His rose gardens are just beautiful. What a beautiful way to remember him by. There are no words to express my feelings in trying to comfort you. Give my love to Nan.
    Prayers to you all!
    Love you! Shirl
    Shirls Rose Cottage

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  47. Bill's roses are indeed beautiful. Such a sweet tribute to his life. I've posted about it on my blog, too. Please give Nan my love, & know that I continue praying for you all.

    Love,
    Steph
    Angelic Accents

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  48. Connie ~ I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers. I am hoping your son recovers very quickly too!

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  49. Such a horrible tragedy for your family and coming so soon after your son's attack.

    Life seems so unfair sometimes. Your family is close and you have strong faith so I know you will all get through this.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you this weekend.

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  50. Oh Connie, I can't find the words to convey my emotions. Certainly too much sadness for one family to contend with. I hold you close in my thoughts and prayers. I'll say an extra special one for your daughter and grandson.
    Hugs ~ Kerryanne

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  51. Connie,
    What a beautiful rose garden. I am so sorry for the loss of your son-in-law. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. These gorgeous rose photos will be a gentle reminder that your son-in-law was here and left his imprint. What beautiful photos to remember him by. May you be comforted and encouraged throughout the next few weeks and months.

    Sincerely,
    Linda

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  52. So So sorry sweetie! YOur son-in-law had a beautiful rose garden & my prayers & thoughts are with your family & his family also...Bless your daughters heart...how hard that was for her.
    Many hugs & prayers...
    Deb:)

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  53. Connie, I am so, so saddened to read this. I just found out, and came right here. You all will continue to be in my prayers.

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  54. I came here from White Linen and Lavender fields blog. Your news Is so sad but as Christians we do have the promise of Eternal life which Is such a comfort. My prayers are with you and your family. Kathi

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  55. Oh Connie! Words fail me, but please know you and your family are in my prayers..
    In HIS love,
    Myrna

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  56. My Sweet Friend Connie,

    You have been on my mind so much these past few days. I think of how much you make me smile when you email me.

    I think you know how much you are truly loved and by so many. There is so much I want to say, but words will never be able to express my feelings. So I'm going to say "I love you, and you and your family are ALWAYS in my heart". I am so very sorry for what everyone is going through and I thank GOD they have YOU to help them through.

    Thank you for the lovely pictures of the stunning garden. We all now share in His beauty.

    All my love,
    Cath

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  57. Blessings to your daughter and your family sweet Connie - Rachaelxo

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  58. Dear Connie,
    No words can begin to express my heartfelt sympathy in your loss. Bill's garden is beautiful and will be there to offer comfort for Nan in the days ahead. Your faith is strong and you will see him again.
    My prayers will continue for your whole family. You have all had a lot to handle and through your courage you inspire us all.
    So glad they found the boy who attacked your son. May justice run it's course.

    Blessings and love to you sweet friend.
    Hugs, Celestina Marie

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  59. Connie I am so very sorry for Nan's loss. There truly are no words to express what I am sure we are all feeling. Your family has been through so much these last few months. Your faith will bring all of you through this. Please give your daughter hugs, from myself and Mom. Nancy
    p.s. If those are the rose I think they are Connie, they are called AngelFace.

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  60. Oh my goodness I am so sorry. I will be praying for the family. This is so very sad and makes my heart just sink. God has a reason for everything but it is still so difficult. I can't imagine the pain she must have been feeling.
    The flowers are beautiful.
    Glad that justice is being taken care of. Hope that Keith is doing better.

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  61. Oh Connie...I am so, so sorry. There are no words, only tears for all of you. I wish there was something more I could do.
    Your son in law's garden is so, so beautiful. To do that he must have had a sweet and loving soul. That sould will continie on with all of you. Blessings and many hugs.
    Love,
    Sue

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  62. Oh sweet Connie ~ words cannot describe how I feel. I am so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Big hugz,
    Michele

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  63. Hi Connie,
    What a very sad story, and how my heart just aches for your daughter, and all your family, my thoughts and prayers are with you all, what a beautiful rose garden, and a wonderful living memory of Bill....

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  64. Connie,
    Just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with your family and Bills family.
    What a beautiful tribute to Bill.
    All my love and prayers.
    Karen

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  65. Oh Connie, what can I say. Only that I am thinking of you all at this so very sad time.
    May the Lord Bless you and keep you all in His loving arms.

    Tessa.(in England)

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  66. Oh Connie, what can I say. Only that I am thinking of you all at this so very sad time.
    May the Lord Bless you and keep you all in His loving arms.

    Tessa.

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  67. Connie, I am so sorry this has happened. I hope all of you will take comfort to know God is with you. God bless you and your family.

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  68. Connie, I am so sorry this has happened. I hope all of you will take comfort to know God is with you. God bless you and your family.

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  69. Connie, I am so sorry to read of this terrible loss.My prayers and thoughts are with all of you as you move through this.
    Donna B.

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  70. Connie, my thoughts and prayers are with you all during this time of heart ache and loss. I pray that God will give you all the strenght you need to edure this heavy burden.. I am so sorry....
    suzanne

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  71. Oh Connie, I missed this post. I am so sorry for your loss and for your daughter's loss and what she went through when he died. Your family has been struck by tragedy so much lately, and I am so sad for all of you. I am keeping you all in my prayers. laurie

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  72. Oh my gosh Miss Connie, I am sitting here in shock with tears in my eyes...
    my heart is breaking for Nan and her family! What a tragedy.....
    {I haven't been here in awhile and am playing catch up.}

    I am so so sorry to hear about Bill!
    Sending BIG hugz to Nan and you.
    Please know that you are all in my prayers!

    God Bless you today and everyday,
    Hugz,
    Dolly

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  73. This is so terribly tragic, Connie. I'm so very sorry for your loss and for Nan. Such a terrible thing for a man to die so young.

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