My Heart is Heavy Today

I am sorry to post this for Pink Saturday but things happened quickly here in the last 2 days. But read it and enjoy the rose garden.

My heart is extremely heavy today. Thursday my daughter called me frantically so let me tell you the story. It's quite long.

Her hubby, Bill, is a dialysis patient. He lost the use of his kidneys about 14 years ago now. His father donated a kidney and it worked for 3 days and then it shut down. So he then went on dialysis 3 days a week—monday, wednesday and friday for 4 hours each evening. He was a brave young man and didn't let it keep him from doing anything. He was very valiant, never ever complained and tried to never let anyone know his circumstances.

He had a hip replacement a few years ago because at the beginning the steroids ate his bone joints. March 9th of this year he had his right shoulder replaced and was looking at 2 more surgeries this year—a fistula on his left arm, which provided access to his veins for the dialysis and then after that healed they were going to replace his left shoulder.

The fistula grew so big on his arm it looked like the hulk only worse. It stretched the skin to its limit. The picture will give you some idea but his was on the upper part of his arm and was so big it hung down to his elbow. It looked like a snake wrapped around his upper arm twice. My daughter had to buy XXL white long sleeve shirts for him to wear to work just for that arm.

On wednesday when he went to dialysis his arm was black from the sores it had from rubbing against his chest. They think it was blisters from the rubbing and had gotten infected. They gave him antibiotics intravenously. They called his doctor and he was to go in thursday to see his doctor to get a schedule for the operation on friday to be performed by a team of doctors. He had a 4:00 appointment. This was a huge undertaking as they were going to replace it with a pig or cow vein. They were in fear of it splitting open.

He worked at home on thursday and at about 2:30 he went out to water his favorite roses in the back yard. My daughter was napping on the sofa in the family room. His arm exploded open, he ran in and asked her to help him. She tried to get the tourniquet on him but he was bleeding out fast and the blood made it so slippery she couldn't get it tied off. (He had been warned that if it broke he had MAX of 2 minutes to tie it off or he'd bleed out.) She ran out of the bathroom to the office phone and called 911. Then she heard a thud in the bathroom and knew he had fainted. She stood there watching her hubby die. I can't even imagine seeing that happen. Blood was all over the home as the heart was pumping the blood furiously out. He bleed out before the EMTs got here. Nan heard him take his last breath when the EMTs walked through the door. Blood was just pooling rapidly under his body. They couldn't get a heartbeat but rushed him to the hospital. A vast team of doctors worked on him for about an hour and then came out to tell her they couldn't get a heartbeat but would keep working on him if she wanted but that he would almost assuredly be a vegetable. She said no, stop working on him. They did. She and my grandson just broke down and they had to put them both on gurneys, administer her some valium and give him some albuterol as he had an asthma attack.

If Bill could have held out for one more day he would have had the operation to repair that valve. Bill's doctor called Nan friday morning and just cried and apologized for not getting it done sooner. He was devastated as he'd taken care of Bill for many years. It has been devastating to this family, especially with the other tragedy of our son being attacked recently. We're a strong religious family and know we will see Bill again. My heart is broken and I can't tell you how many tears we've all shed. Hubby and I are here now in California with our daughter. I truly cannot imagine how his mother is feeling as I almost knew what it was like, but my son was saved. My heart grieves for my daughter being a widow at 47. Bill was 46. But his mother loves him with a mother's love and that is also very strong.

The above photos are of Bill's garden that he was tending the day he died. He loved that garden. The first seven photos are of his favorite rose outside their kitchen. He just loved the fragrance of that particular rose. He will be greatly missed. The rose bush looks like it is weeping for him. I know we all are.

Bill
Nov. 1962 - May 2009
~*~

Okay, for an update on Keith.

He was called by the juvenile D.A. (never knew there was such a thing) on thursday. He was told they have 4 guys in custody now. One is a juvenile and the D.A. asked if he wanted to be in the court for the arraignment on friday. He said YOU BETCHA! They wouldn't let my daughter-in-law or my grandson, who is 20, in the court room. Since it is juvenile court there were privacy issues. Keith was assigned a police guard and was taken into a small room to wait. Then he was taken into the court room and put on one side in the back of the room. The guard stayed with in the whole time. The parents of the defendant were then shown in and put on the other side of the room. The 15 year old defendant was then brought into the room. He pled not guilty, of course. The police "found" him in the jail. He has been in jail for the last 30 days in solitary confinement lockdown level 10. He sits in that cell for 23 hours a day and is let out into a private yard for 1 hour each day. That's for the worst bad guys. He asked the judge if he could have a chat with his parents, who Keith said looked like the average hard-working parents. He felt so sad for them. He then asked the judge to lessen his confinement level down from 10. The judge looked at him and said "I see no reason to change that" [score!!] and will leave it as stands. He said he'd leave it up to the probation department to do something if they wanted to. The young man is one bad dude and was in a gang. Then it was over for that day. I cannot be happy for a 15 year old boy who will probably spend the better part of his life in a prison. I'd hope he would straighten out his life. It doesn't look good for his child. He's looking at a long time in prison. Sad............